Pod Post: a letter from Jessica Dabrowski
Note: as of Fall 2020, Jessica has transitioned off the Steering Committee - we're grateful for her service to SWMS!
Hey there! I’m Jessica Dabrowski (she/her), the Mentorship Chair on the SWMS Steering Committee.
I first got involved with SWMS when I attended the URI Symposium in the spring of 2018. At this meeting, I attended a breakout session on mentorship, which led to the idea of building a mentorship network because many women saw a lack of appropriate mentors in their professional settings. I then dove into making this a reality with the rest of the Steering Committee and rolled out the program at the 2018 Fall Symposium at WHOI. Less than one year later, I could not be prouder of how far the Mentorship Program has come. I would truly appreciate more feedback to continue to develop the program. My dream is to give every person in marine science access to mentors they need to flourish in their careers, relationships, emotional and mental health, and into their best selves.
My position as Mentorship Chair started around the same time that I began addressing my own mental health. In my teenage years, I faced many challenges including growing up with an alcoholic parent and my best friend passing away. During college, my grandmother, godmother, and father passed away in the span of 3 years. I denied that I was struggling, taking only enough days off to attend the funerals, and returned to funneling my energy into my classes and research, distracting myself from grief. My grades were up, so I must have been fine. I jumped right into graduate school, deciding against a gap year since I thought that going for my PhD was the best way to put myself first, not realizing that I continued to let my mental health suffer.
In February 2018, I heard my wake-up call. Although I was making good progress in my research and classes, I was having weekly panic attacks, anxious days, sleepless nights, and saw my familial and romantic relationships fall apart. I felt utterly alone. I sought out a therapist, who I still see regularly, and am grateful to say that I am now the happiest I have ever been. On our first day, she recommended trying meditation, but I thought, “How could I have time to pause for 10 minutes a day when I am so busy?”
After giving it a try, I could already feel the cracks beginning to heal, and after 18 months, I’m far from where I started and things are only looking up. I like to think of my new mental health habits as my brain’s daily cup of coffee, energizing it for the rest of the day. Meditation is now one of my favorite parts of my routine, along with writing down to-do lists (on paper instead of continuously thinking about them), journaling about things I’m grateful for, acknowledging the tiniest of successes, and rewarding myself for keeping up with good habits. I better manage my stress, have amazing relationships with my loved ones, and feel more joy on a daily basis. I am truly experiencing life with a happy, clear mind instead of fumbling around in the fog, wondering what is on the other side.
With gratitude,
Jessica